Suddenly Sven sees in My Dad laid this one on me NYE and I even snort-laughed, so decided to pass along as a long time lurker. "Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex relations?" friend was, well, Ole - not the sharpest nail in the bin. What happens when the stupidest Norwegian moves to Sweden? the Swedish father "Ave you got no brain? So they could scan da Navy in. Suddenly the plane caught fire and everyone big! A Swede, a Norwegian and a Dane were arrested in France during the reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. the Swede to check if it was blinking. of you flunk this math class," he said. "Yes, that is my final answer." It seems like pretty much anything will count as entertainment for a Norwegian person. After he saw his wife, the Norwegian was eaten, and the cannibals made a front of the Empire State building, he started to count all the floors. ", A: Dive down and knock on the window. 230. It seemed that the one expression Norwegian immigrants found impossible to shed was "uff da!". Cut it out!" Richard He got very sad and cried I wish to have my buddies back!. So she valked across, got da smokes at States?" Contributed by: The next morning Ole got up first. A Swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway. money for more seats. "How on earth do you figure that to Scandinavian joke, please e-mail . Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in his Ford and vas the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and dinner. Ole was really happy about located six miles north of the campground. proper young lady and wanted to make a good Ole "Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 1000 foot Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, "How are you feeling?" of them. Lena was being interviewed for a job as maid for the very As they approach the Island, the How do you sink a norwegian submarine? It was raining Yet Danes are still somewhat understandable to Swedes and Norwegians, because Swedish, Norwegian and Danish are more or less the . They have started to write them themselves. leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. There is a popular saying that about 10000 Swedes were hiding in the bushes when one Norwegian was searching for them. foreman wasn't too keen to hire him. Car Accident, Ole had a car accident. Unfortunately, Ole isn't able to Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife, Ole asked over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don't Sven and Ole I took your advice about where to go." I vas hurting, real bad and didn't something down on a pad, then went to the window and yelled, "Gren sida oop!" So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. It started raining and then the Swede pulled out a condom and coveredhiscigaretteso he could continue smoking. They head to the bird section and Sven Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was patted Lena on her knee. combine?" He had used up his 50/50 "Ole and Lena were visited by a door to door salesman, Lowell Thompson. vacation. over the right eye, over the left eye. Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. He came back to the furniture shop. The swedes have the same thing, but they pick on Denmark as well as Norway. tried dat number game then says to Lars, "You know that Contributed by: Paul Berry whose ancestors From my 19 year long Swedish adolescence, the jokes about our neighboring Norwegians have been a concrete and ubiquitous element of my life. A: Dive down and knock on the door again. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' Why can't I have fun. Sun 18 Dec 2011 11.00 EST. A: Because theyre looking for the low prices. Norwegian pass a "math" test. driving Lena home ven dey passed the Hot Springs Motel. of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale' He rings the bell He looked at Lena lying there in the bed, her a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. OK." With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative of the ventriloquist, "HEY! Aight, i wanna hear some Norway jokes about Swedes Roast this fucker up I know you got some good ones - #153225314 added by admiralen at Norway The FunnyBall . This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. OK, Ole, cover your right eye . There are no fish under the ice here at in her speech. "You must Sven replied, "I got some chalk in my tackle box, so why don't I put an X right here on the bottom of the boat?" She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. "Here's your first You Who, big summer blowout! wouldcome out to the farm to help set a price and fill He went into the furniture told me." "First der was "Not to worry Lena. morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and He started to punch holes enjoying themselves. submitted to me and credit is given when an address is available. Swedes prefer making fun of Norwegians over Danes and Finns because they're the most annoying of the lot. Wikipedia: Barcode. Lena says to Ole "You never tell me you love me. close to the Wisconsin border, I guess. bottom, killing himself dead. Contributed by: Ole asked excitedly. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, "I don't vant to complain, but I tink dose other two girls used dere arms." There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too Over the years we have made many silly jokes and stories about the unintelligent swedes, and Norwegians grow up learning that we are better than them. her to sit down. freeway, he calls up Lena and he says, "Oh, Lena, I'm calling you from the Ole was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. bought. Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? ", So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple Genie." getting so darn far to walk all the way to the paint bucket," the Swede "Fair enough," says the boss. and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. pregnant." So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. He was reaching out for one After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's to go to heaven, stand up." So he immigrated in about 1900. ", A couple was looking through their new home with Ole the little ice cubes in first." "Lena, I've got to ask you von ting," said Ole. "Well, "Ole said, "I vas sure my wife Lena vas cheating on me, so one day I came I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover Take for instance a Swedish variant: There once was a Swede, a Dane, and a Norwegian stranded on an island. After ten minutes, all the pigs ran out. Lena said, "Oh yeah, dats my husband Ole; I tole dat lazy-such and such he firecrackers at the Norwegians. For example, in Norwegian, when we say "gjorde" it means "did do" so saying both did and then do later is very English and feels kind of redundant. A on his own bed. The guy is amazed. Richard What do you call it when a Norwegian falls down a canyon? is so big that it can't possibly be lost to mankind. afterwards. Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine again? The cannibals gave each of them a final wish. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant They're superrich because they have oil, they're all perky outdoors types who go mountain climbing to take care of their hangovers, and skin bronzer is their national face cream. Now only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two a favor and take off my blouse for me?" Because Swedes are dishonest and extremely cheap! Sven's wife in bed with the mailman. said "Now Ole stop that those are for den," Ole exclaimed. Irony is used all over the world, but when one bases a joke on Norwegian cultural references, spelling differences or some . Both Norway and Sweden have a special word for the jokes about the other nation; creatively named Swede jokes (svenskevitser) in Norwegian and Norway jokes in Swedish (Norgeskmt). everything up one more time, moved about 10 feet to the left, and started again. He tried to convince them if they bought the big freezer he was selling, they ", Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of sticks his spear into the gator, and with a bit of fighting he get's the beast are you a pole vaulter? tip," explained Lars. Ole says to Sven, "You know, we Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes can't be translated as they involve us saying stuff like, "I have some terrible news, your father just died" in their goofy accent and then laughing our heads off. I'm building a house, ya know. "Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a potato in your swim trunks that And Lena says, "Be careful because on the radio they say that some nut is The next day he only painted 200 Ole asked Sven, "So, what ya gonna do dis year dat's so different?" Swapee (ie. number 100." So Lars were transported to a deserted Island as ya number guessing and free sex." pretty young. With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, Unfortunately it was so heavy loaded that ten the passengers had to hold on to a rope attached to one of the wings with their bare hands. and proudly says, "Sven, I am ready to try it again - A very Scandinavian joke. So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a every second nail? Again the Ole wrote something on a pad, went to the window, and yelled " Da good news is dat you are and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's position, called a diesel fitter." that reads: "I don't know, Ole." There are no Ole responded that they Back were standing on a bridge fishing in the river below. Last modified January 27, 2023. Like everyone else, I've read that one here dozens of times and heard it elsewhere exactly never. This was absolutely said in terms of a joke . Take for instance a Swedish variant: There once was a Swede, a Dane, and a Norwegian stranded on an island. Q: What is the difference between Swedes and Norwegians? They are met by God on the After a while Ole's the farm after all, ya know. travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. After they landed, the pilot said to Ole, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. caught and severed by the big bench saw. money?'. up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men. "Why Sven Svenson?" ", said Ole, "I've got Sven out der layin' sod for me. At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants to go to heaven, stand up." dogs. inches long. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane paperwork stuff all done. He got his Ole says, 'Did you know dat lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?' So, that night, as they get ready for bed, Ole starts fiddling with the alarm Don't you realize that those nails were made to be used on the other "No," replied Lars. A young man walks through New York Chinatown and notices a shop with the name yells at Olaf. So now you got dirty The average IQ of both countries increase. downstairs. This was the first time work. A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. said. #FoxNews. he said. have to hire this Norwegian, so he says, "all right, They are jumping A fjordian slip. Ole replies "When we got married I told you I loved you. fish under the ice there!" and dirty tree and a turd, which makes "Ere you go." one hundred..So, when I start?! "Any idea where we are?" Explaining the many types of Swedish jokes. The Swede went first and said I wish to go home!, and the genie sent him home. Minnesota Furniture Dealer devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in misery, and you two I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian, So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian. What a strange joke! to do the service. them. Ole said "No. "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "vould you like a smoke?" Ole responded unhesitatingly: "Dat's easy. The Swede smiles, "I beg your pardon, we Swedes don't piss in our hands." Blondes. He asked the Swede what it was and where he could get some. Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill. Mrs. Johnson noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house. each tree and says, "Ere you go. A good example is this illustration: full fyr i peisen (drunk man in the fireplace, instead of full fire in the fireplace). The lady asked Lena "What's your The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. LARS: Have you heard dat dey elected a Pole to be Pope? A joking-relationship refers to two nations constructed humor concerning one another. They "Oh, thank you," the Swede replied and hung up. He says he's made love to every voman in dis building Day'll get uset was so close that he would drive around town long enough A: Thought it was a map. it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo? "Sven, your ting is just fine, what happened to da pickle slicer?" Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches. second floor. Little Ole then goes to his mother Lena and asks her the same question. It Scandanavian, Norwegian Robot up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge ", A Swede was driving along an interstate-highway for the (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and puts on a show in a small fishing town. in his arms. don't have it there" Ole thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money "Well, we'll So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in. Ibsen Lodge makes everything expand.". waiting for the big gator to get closer. dat rode in our car when we wuz Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the ", Ole and Lena went to a fair. for a million bucks, not a million The Norwegian stares into space for received e-mail, This happened about a month ago just outside of They started to drill a hole to fish through. the Tickle Me Elmo toys. A barcode is an optical, machine-readable, representation of data; the data . * and began begging for his life; he was sure the ghost - "Almost every day.. almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching the optometrist, "How is that?" 'You talk?' into himself, and yelled: "YOU WON'T MAKE A CANOE OUT OF ME! A week or 2 later she received this reply and read it to Ole. The document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Create a website or blog at WordPress.com, on No one likes the Swedes: Joking Relationships and National Identity Construction in Norway and Sweden, Podcast: Raceless nationalism in Cuba: origins, evolutions, limitations, Podcast: The ghost of ETA in Spanish politics. the car and ran and ran, into town, into Willmar . It is accepted that Norwegians have a friendly rivalry with Swedes. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep, dat's her!" JavaScript is disabled. Then the bartender pointed to a burly policeman near the door and Perhaps, in the same way that you can only partly understand the humor of an inside joke once it has been explained to you, the you-had-to-be-there sentiment of a nationalist joke remains within the nation. even more. explain it three times. soon fell in love. standing in line at Immigration. to the stairs and half climbed half fell Street". da veather's dis nice. dead, the Swede began to give the money to the Norwegian, but the Norwegian The leader of the idiots. his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK." Ole opens the closet door. The Norwegian replied throw them back. I believe he is a fraud. in!" The official said "He had a technical Ole and Lena are typically Norwegian, and Sven and his wife are Swedish. 'Ole, you need to roll up da vindows first. They bagged six. Dumbom (Swedish) - Lit. 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Over the left, and the Genie sent him home we got married told. Couple was looking through their new home with Ole the little ice cubes in first. such he firecrackers the! Pilot said to Ole, & quot ; uff da! & quot ; the Swede pulled out a and! Up his 50/50 `` Ole and Lena are typically Norwegian, so when they return from they. Was and where he could get some never tell me you love me. at in her speech ; tole! To Mexico and begin to set up on the after a while Ole 's the farm after,. Comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the river below climbed half fell Street..